​TL/DR
Clean your bathroom more often.
 
 
The room you don’t bath in is the bathroom. The room you don’t rest in is the restroom. Of course, sometimes you do some of these things in some of these rooms some of the times. But did you know that back in the day they were called Comfort Stations? That’s because, for the most part, people crapped in the woods and washed their hands in streams. It was always cold and dark, and it was considered a comfort to sit on something and rest awhile while you handled your business. Nowadays, not like back in my days, we take these creature comforts for granted. What do you mean I can’t poop in 5 gallons of potable water? That is my right. What do you mean the urinal is out of order and I have to pee in the woods? That is unAmerican. What do you mean the hand dryer is out of order? I demand a refund. And while it’s good to have jobs, who wants to hand out breath mints and tissue things in a restroom? And don’t you just hate cleaning your own bathroom?
 
That’s enough rants for now (that was like 5 at least). I know there are way more important issues in the world than restrooms. But. I think restrooms deserve a voice too. As I’ve explained to my daughter, we all go poopoo and peepee. There are times and places for that. And some people have to go more often than others. Some people need special assistance to go. Wider doors and rails. Maybe lower toilet paper dispensers and hand dryers. But you know what? We all do it. If you’re walking around town and you suddenly have to go. If you’re about to head into a long meeting or go to bed, and you want to make sure you remain present for the entire experience. If you have a long car trip. Or if you’re like me and you spend your entire morning alternating between chugging water and chugging coffee.
 
But. We all spend time there. And time is the one thing we all have in common, no matter your age, race, orientation, or income. We all get the same amount of time in a day, and we all spend some of that time going poopoo or peepee. So we all owe it to ourselves to make the experience more better. For all of us.
 

Eleven Eleven on 07/11/17
 
I am posting this blog both 6 days late and 1 day early because I was out of town at a conference and forgot all my word (documents). This was originally intended to be published on 07/11 day, which may or may not have been amazon prime day? Anywho, enjoy the read.

TL;DR
Celebrate today by supporting your local 7-Eleven and using a public restroom.
 
 




Today is 07/11. Actually, it’s 7/11/17, which is a palindromic date (more on this later).
 
Every year on this day, I celebrate by going to the nearest 7-Eleven and using the restroom.
 
I don’t actually do this, but wouldn’t it be cool if I did?
 
7-Eleven’s typically have public restrooms. I guess they don’t always, because who monitors the public restroom situation in the world? Probably nobody. That’s why it’s up to me and my trusty wife to do so.
 
We started this activity when we were only boyfriend/girlfriend, and I had a thesis to write. The thesis required original research. Original research required original thought. And most of my thoughts when I’m out in public involve restrooms.
 
It all started back in the day. I used to drive around mapping utilities, and knowing where the closest restroom was could save precious minutes/hours/days. So, knowing where the restrooms are is a thing for me when moving through public spaces or at a friend’s house.
 
Anywho.
 
This week I’m in San Diego. There are a lot of hotels in San Diego. A lot of these hotels are the big breezy Oceanside hotels that have large anonymous lobbies. Large anonymous lobbies means that it’s easy to walk in off the street and find a restroom. There are always restrooms in hotels. Small hotels have them near the breakfast area, and/or the pool fitness room area. If none of these things exist, then they are near the reception area. Large hotels are pretty similar, except the restrooms are usually near the dining areas, and conference room areas. I’m sure there are some near the pool fitness room area, but sometimes these are not on the lobby floor so who cares.
 
Even if you’re staying at a hotel, it can still be useful to know where the public restrooms are. Why? Because if you’re sharing a room with someone, it might be useful to be able to duck out and take care of business while the other person is showering or something. Or, if you just want to be polite. Hotel rooms are intimate (by intimate I mean small and not anonymous).
 
As I wrote earlier, 7/11/17 is a palindromic date. That means that it’s the same date when written forwards or backwards, as long as you omit the leading zero (7 vs. 07) in the month column, and don’t live in Canada (or any other country that writes the day before the month in date formats). The next time this will happen is in approximately 100 years, so enjoy today while it lasts.
 
Happy flushing.
 
 
 

     TL;DR
     Wash your hands more.









There are two types of people in this world. Well, since this is based purely on my restroom observations, let’s say that there are two types of guys in this world. And no, it’s not the standing versus sitting debate, it’s far more nuanced than that.
 
Are you ready?
 
There are two types of guys in this world: those who wash their hands before they pee, and those who wash their hands after they pee.
 
Whoa.
 
Okay, it doesn’t actually end there. I would argue there are four types of guys in this world: 1) those who wash their hands before they pee, 2) those who wash their hands after they pee, 3) those who do not wash their hands at all, and 4) those who wash their hands both before and after they pee.
 
Here’s a handy matrix/diagram (if you would like a .pdf hardcopy to print-out and share with your friends, just leave a comment below):

​Pretty interesting, right? Now some of you may have no association with the hard data shown above, and may not be able to find the “wow” factor of why this is interesting. I’ve done a lot of analytics and number crunching and even thought about using AI/machine learning to better explain my findings. But I think the best way to tell this story is with an actual story.
 
Several years ago, I worked at an office in a tall office building and it was awesome. There were between 10-100 people who worked on my floor (I never actually counted so have to estimate), and the restrooms were large, spacious, and very modern. Since at home I shared a cramped apartment bathroom with another dude, the restroom at work felt luxurious. My favorite person at work was a guy called Elliot. I’m not 100% sure what his actual job was, but I would go to him to help accomplish various office tasks at least once a day. We always had pleasant conversations, and he laughed a lot, even when I wasn’t trying to be funny. This made me feel good, even if I didn’t understand why he was laughing; I just thought he liked me as a human being.
 
Anyway, one day I was washing my hands in the restroom and Elliot strolls in, gives me a friendly smile in the mirror (ever use a work restroom? and you know how when you’re washing your hands and someone walks in, and you don’t know whether to turn around and make eye contact and acknowledge them, or look up in the mirror and make eye contact and acknowledge them? or just ignore everyone because hey, it’s a restroom, not a social club house), and then Elliot proceeds to wash his hands. I figured he just ate lunch or just sorted the mail or just handled some money for something, so he wanted to wash his hands off. But after washing (and drying) his hands, Elliot proceeds to one of the 15 urinals and goes pee. At this exact moment that Elliot beings the process, a tall manager type walks into the restroom and takes a position near Elliot. This is their exact conversation:
 
Tall manager: “Hey Elliot, how was your weekend?”
Elliot: “Hahahahaha, how was your weekend.”
 
Elliot obviously thought the question was hilarious, and repeated the question like it was comedy gold. I still to this day have no idea what that interaction meant, but I loved Elliot for laughing, and the conversation went no further.
 
A few days later, similar situation (sans tall manager). I realized that Elliot washes his hands before he pees. Like, every time.
 
Amazing.
 
And then I thought more about it. It wasn’t just funny or quirky or cool. It was logical. Hands get super dirty. Super dirty hands should not get other things dirty if it can be avoided. Imagine that. Maybe we should all wash our hands before and after going to the bathroom. Maybe it would make us less sick and more healthy. Maybe it would end poverty and social injustice! Or maybe not. Maybe that’s a lot. But I tell you what, just talking about this kind of stuff openly can help, that I truly believe.